It has been a very difficult day. i really don't know why they pop out of the blue, I just know it ended very sad. I did get to go to TOdd's game. They lost. He leaves for NY on thurs. I won't see him through his spring break and then we have ours. I had my eye exam today and my eyes are changing. I knew my glasses were strange. I just had them checked last year. I guess age does it.
Mollie sings in competition tomorrow. It was so sad tonight. I had cried when Don was here. I had to tell her the stupid mistake I had made. I wrote the social security checks in twice. Thats one way of making your check book look good. I was tired and have missed Mike terribly. I layed in bed with her. To hear her cry. I know she is so so sad that he won't be at her singing. he loved to listen to her so much. She sang to him the most. By themselves in her room at night when they were going to say prayers she would sing. I cried with her tonight. I felt like I couldn't breath again. Like there is a vice on my chest. How on earth is it almost 8 months. I just know he will be back soon. I know that sounds stupid but I think that is how you survive. The brain I don't think can take it all in. Mollie was asked with two other gilrs who have had losses to explain this song called remember. He had asked the kids the meaning of this song and they didn't come close. She said she didn't know what to say. Others say oh remember the happy times and we feel like it is so important to keep remembering the loss. It is impossible to just keep thinking of the happy times. Mollie really needs a break, just to do things that are not school and fun. I am looking so forward to being with her on spring break. We had such fun times in Florida. I have been so glad when she will say remeber when about that trip. It is important to build new memories.
I had klunch with Michael at his work place today. he got back late last night and it was so good to hug his neck. Samuel and I are at odds and that is so painful. I think it is just the time and I pray it passes faster then with the other boys. I am having a harder time, a much harder time with this. I keep crying and feel sick to my stomach when I see them sad. Life is very hard sometimes. Tears just don't go away. I am ready to get the boot off. I am geting behind on stuff.
I go and get the food for the baskeball tournament on Sat. I have the prizes, well most of them. It should be a fun day. It is most of the day on Sunday after church.