Ashleys wedding was just perfect. It was so good to be with Fred and his friends I like them so much. Really precious couples. It was good to cry with them and miss Jane so much. Her empty place was huge. I missed her so much. Mollie and I struggled so much when we saw Uncle Harold walking donw the isle. Mollie just crumpled into my arms. It was the feeling again of not being able to breath. Then we left early to be able to come home and leave the next mroning. Ashley was so beautiful. I really like her Chris. Mostly I love to see Mark and Robert and just to watch them. I have the cutest pictres of Mark and his boys. Rachel looks so great and is such a good mommy. You wouldn't have believed the area they built out in a field to dance. A huge dance floor with lights all around it. They put lights on the trailors, fences and archway. Chirs worked so hard to make it just like they wanted. We set on bails of hay. Now the one complaint I had was the ticks. I have definately gotten soft to the city. I was surprised at myself. Sharon got a big ol tick on her that casued a big mark. After that I could feel them everywhere. I got to do the family's hair for the wedding, it is fun to be a part. We mulched, did other chores. Really Sharon did most I just got to take some credit. Sharon and Harold worked so hard making it nice. A great example for me.


I borrowed my father in laws camera. I can't seem to get the right charger for it. It will take me some time to get the pictures on. I just wanted to tell you how wonderful our time together was. The kids were so grateful for the trip. They so needed to relax. ALl of them have been working so hard and keeping it together. I didn't no how much I could use that kind of stillness. The kids net so many other kids and had a nice time just hanging with them. I realized just how alone is. They went off and did there thing and I would usually enjoy just doing nothing with Mike. We would lay around with me devouring books and him just enjoying watching people. I didn't have Rudy so it was even weirder. I think it was hard on all children when they saw a dad playing with his kids. One of the things Mike was GREAT at was playing. He would let them jump to him as many times as they wanted, me around 5 times and I am ok lets you do something else. I did play lots of volleyball with other guests. I got so burned. It was a blast. I am surprised at how competative I am. Like they didn't want to keep score, (now what is the deal with that) I did enjoy myself it was just another kind of learning what it is like to vacation without your loved one. So many things you jsut do becasue you enjoy it together. God had me meet some really special people, a couple whos husband and wife died of fcancer after their marriage of f25 and 33 years. They have now been together for 5 years. It was good for them to talk of how hard it was for them. I learned so much from them. I did get to Atlanta where my girlfriend Linda moved to, I called her and then cried for the rest of the trip home off and on. I think it hit me that I didn't want to come home and start being responsible again. I was convinced that there was no way that I could do it. I had been trying it and it just isn't for me.

We did have some exciting adventures there. We got stopped by the police ones who happened to be crooks. I wanted to press the point and the boys were like just pay the man. It was tense for sure for a bit. I thought we were all going to be hauled off to jail. He pocketed the money. (now that really burned me) We then got on the wrong bus to go snorkeling, got off ont he highway to walk across the traffic and try again. I did feel responsible for everything. I did try to ask and deligate but in the end it seemed to be my fault. I go many complaint of my driving and not a great job once. A little frustrating and I tried not to take it personally. I seemed extra sensitive; like I had thought it would be like always. Silly I know. I seem to miss him so much right now. I saw so many older people with their sweeties. It was precious to watch. I did do alot of that. The kids did enjoy each other that was great to see. Samuel loved that the drinking law in Mexico was 15. My big argument was that you can't drink till 21, I definately lost this one. It was strang to have them order beer at dinner. They helped pay and figure out the money. I appreciated seeing the ways that everyone has grown and pitched in.
Today I power washed the porch, it had not been done since we finished it and was starting to stain. I put the sealer on. Iscrubbed the furniture and now it is drying.
I was so tired I couldn't even feel like I could stand anymore. I came into the cool to write. I went to Brandons to try and get his car to jump but it wouldn't, he is going to work on it, then I went and picked up Rudy, I was so excited to get her. I really did miss that little dog. I pray you make a great week. I am going to work hard on mine.