I went with Samuel to Mizzou for orientation. It was so good for me to get to see where he is going and his dorm and some of his professors. He is now in the College of Engineering at University of Missouri. I think he felt much better about all of it, what is expected and how they can help. I am so happy for him to get to have this opportunity. I stayed with some of our friends. (my mom an dads from Columbia) it was so good to be with them.
The shower went just great. They got some nice gifts and all the kids were so fun to watch.
Mollie got to go to high teen week at our church camp. I have been so excited to get to hear how fun it was. The house so strange without her. It has been nice not having to think where she is and does she need a ride home.
She is working everyday Mon - Fri at the early childhood development at one of the schools. She works from 8-2. I am grateful for her job.
Boy I feel like time is just rushing by. I have had a wonderful two weeks. I have wanted a pond for many years. Mike drilled me a hole in a rock a long time ago so I would have the fountain part of the pond. I now can't move it so I got creative and made a small fall. I dug a pond. I used a college guy to wheel the dirt away. OK so now the small pond is 14 x 12, parts of it 2 feet deep. it makes such a sweet sound. I have been gathering rocks for around 10 years. Whenever I see free rocks I just get them. Now it is gathering them from around the yard. The rain was so terrible that I thought it would wash away but it held firm.
I went to get granddaddy a card the other night. I had no idea I was going to get hysterical. It hits you when you are not ready. I started reading cards, started thinking of the ones Mike would get his dad. I moved to the ones for fathers and then I saw a little girl card that was so perfect for the two of them. I bought it anyway. I stood there sobbing and kept on reading thinking maybe I could get the and mail them just somewhere. It was the most terrible feeling to think that I did not get to get him a card, I did and wrote in my head what I would say. What on earth. I was in there on the 16th Mike's 23 month since his death. I don't know how it has happened that it is so long. I want to show him the pond. He would love to sit out there. It sounds like the little rivers when we would go camping.
There have been struggles lately that have made me think so much of my parenting. I know that we all make mistakes but it the not continuing them that is so important to me. I am trying so hard to let them be there own men,. To listen and not ask questions that are irritating. God has been growing me up again. I keep telling him to build character in my children but to leave me out of it. Funny how that doesn't work.
The garden is starting to produce fruit. We have zucchini , yellow squash, onions, peppers, lettuce, our broccoli is done. It is so good to eat fresh.
Hannah has been the biggest God send for me. To say good morning and walk and have coffee with her, is wonderful. To talk of God and what we are confidently expecting in our lives. Isn't that what Hope is about? Confidently expecting God to do great things in our lives. That is His promise to us. Knowing in all things he works good. I believe that and want to be still and watch it unfold. It is good for me.
I pick up Mollie sat and look forward to her being home.
Pray specifically for me to get some paper work done for the hospitals. I have much to send in. I am now done with Samuel's stuff. Met with the financial people at the college. I felt small. Of course I only saw all the mom and dads that where together. Holding hands and doing it together. (Don't tell me there where other singles too, duh! I know that) I just said that is who I saw.
Again, make it a day that you tell someone you love them. Hug them say the words. Who knows in life when and if we will get to meet again. I have so many people I love and think of. My life is so full of blessings. I tell Samuel I am the most blessed women I know. He said I need to get out more. So funny.